This Racer Needs a Tune-Up
If the Wachowskis can’t make a convincing live-action anime, I don’t know who can. Their Matrix films were as close to that as any movies ever have been. There’s much of that style at work here, throwing a lot of colors, kung fu and car chases at the screen in the hopes some of it makes sense.
I realize that most of the people seeing this one won’t be looking for reviews. They’re either longtime fans of the anime or kids 10 and under. They’ll probably come away from this pleased. Those looking for a believable plot, any adherence to the laws of physics, or weighty acting performances know better than to look here for them.
In fairness, the plots of the anime weren’t all that well-developed. For some reason Speed Racer needs to win this race or the world will end. We don’t really need to know how or why. But in fairness to that show, an episode ran for 22 minutes. This racer clocks in at past the two hour mark, a span longer than its target audience can rightfully be expected to sit still.
The Wachowskis also haven’t developed a fine knack for leaving tidbits in the kid flick for adults that are still appropriate for children. Speed has profanity, flinging of monkey poop and a scene in which adorable little brother Spritle flips an adult the bird.
“That wasn’t in my cartoon as a kid,” I heard an adult say from the seat behind me. No sir, it wasn’t. It reminded me of the inappropriate moment in the off-target Grinch remake in which Jim Carrey’s Grinch hangs mistletoe on his butt. It’s a shame because otherwise Paulie Litt’s little brother and his obligatory monkey Chim-Chim are charming. They’re arguably the most well-developed characters in this one. As a side note, who names their children Spritle and Speed and expects them to turn out well? These children don’t idolize Rex Racer because of his racing skill, it’s because he’s the only one in the family with a normal name.
Emile Hirsch isn’t called on for any heavy lifting here, his character barely speaking for the first half of the movie. John Goodman is reliable though given wooden dialogue to work with. Christina Ricci is here mainly because with her round eyes and perky spirit she looks like an anime character. V for Vendetta cast member Roger Allam rechannels the wealthy, corrupt blowhard role from that movie as Racer’s villain Royalton. He is wonderfully slimy here. Lost’s Matthew Fox dons the black mask and tights of Racer X. I kept waiting for Sawyer to come out and begin laughing hysterically at Fox’s getup.
Susan Sarandon? She makes great pancakes for the family in this one.
Allam is saddled with much of the movie’s weighty exposition that will surely be lost on children. It doesn’t make enough sense for adults to follow either. But as I mentioned, nobody came to this one for the plot. You may believe a car can fly after this movie. The race scenes are more like something out of a Nintendo game than anything resembling real life. Though I will say if NASCAR had boiling lava, ice caves and spikes coming out of the tracks I would watch more.
The race sequences are wonderfully over the top but add to the overall length that I as mentioned is a bit too long. And I implore you not to sit too close to the screen.
© 2008 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Tags: Christina Ricci, Emile Hirsch, Speed Racer, Speed Racer MovieRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Movies
1 opinion for This Racer Needs a Tune-Up
Torchwood Season 2 on DVD This Week
Sep 16, 2008 at 1:21 pm
[...] week’s high profile movie release is high profile for just how bad it bombed. Speed Racer is out on DVD and this time you can make it more suitable for kids with liberal [...]
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