Smallville is back tonight after a brief hiatus, and time Lois has a foolproof (yeah right) plan to lure out the infamous Red and Blue Blur. Lois will become a spandex-clad crimefighter named Stiletto. What could go wrong?

Well, in Metropolis any number of things could and most certainly will. Both in the comic and on TV, part of the reason Clark is so attracted to Lois is because she’s fearless. She’s doesn’t have superpowers and hasn’t ever needed them to break a story. Clark gets scoops with his superhuman abilities but knows he’s kind of cheating.

Lois will try anything, including wearing spandex and stilettos, to get the story. I tried wearing spandex to get a story once and it totally did not work. I’m guessing Lois will have better luck.

Erica Durance as Lois Lane. Smallville. Image: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Clark Kent has some competition when a new superhero, Stilletto, arrives on the scene. But how odd is it that Lois Lane is right there to get the scoop when the Red and Blue blurr has eluded her for so long. . .

Tonight, Tess is determined to get Clark to use his superpowers and reveal his true self. So she stages an airplane crisis to see if C.K. will blink. There is also the matter of the whole Davis, Chloe and Jimmy triangle. Check this out:

For the intents and purposes of the show’s storyline, that’s an obvious yes. But if you’re looking for Michael Rosenbaum, there’s been no indication of that. And having Lex Luthor appear as scarred beyond recognition is a good way to cover things up.

Lex is trying to get the Prometheus treatment that gave Lana her superpowers. Watch Heroes, guys. Wide-scale distribution of powers leads to bad things. In tonight’s episode, Requiem, Lex is again threatening to destroy Clark.

And there is an appearance by classic Superman villain The Toyman, reminding us how important Lex Luthor is to the Super-mythos. Supes is just not loaded with the impressive supervillains. This is kind of ironic since Superman is the standard by which all other superheroes are measured by.

Image:Bauer-Griffin

Sniff, our little Chloe has grown up. For tonight’s Smallville episode, Allison Mack stepped into the director’s chair and there is a whole lot of stuff going on.

Last week we learned about something called the Prometheus project that could help Lex Luthor recover. There are a lot of people who don’t want that happening.

Meanwhile, Lana is following her own destiny. In her encounter with the Legion of Superheroes she learned she’s supposed to save the world in her own right. It looks like she’s undergoing some military training to make that happen. Super Lana? OK, color me intrigued.

Image: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Smallville Episode 8.12 Bulletproof

Air Date: January 22, 2009

I think more than anything that has happened on Smallville, I’m shocked they’ve been on eight seasons and haven’t had an episode called Bulletproof already.

In Bulletproof, John Jones/Martian Manhunter gets shot and somebody’s trying to pin the blame on Clark. That’s not good. Also tonight we’re going to see good girls gone bad and bad girls, well still being bad.

Lana Lang has been MIA for months and Ollie Queen ran into her while they were both tracking down Lex. Boy, does anybody remember Lana being the innocent girl next door? Would not have figured her to be going all Lara Croft on us. Of course, when you hang around Clark Kent for a few years you had better learn to take care of yourself. Things tend to get dangerous.

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Smallville Episode 8.11 “Legion”

Air Date: January 15, 2009

Finally, The Clark has come back to CW! This was an episode for diehard comic book fans with the intervention of classic future supergroup The Legion of Superheroes. As alien teenagers with superpowers, they have some serious worship for Superman since he paved the way for their exploits.

Clark and Lana are trying to find Chloe, who you’ll remember got kidnapped by Davis/Doomsday at her wedding and repossessed (tee hee) by Brainiac. After Lana leaves, this masked villainous dude with a fiery axe shows up. Legion fans will instantly recognize The Persuader and his Atomic Axe.

And speaking of the Legion, members Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl show up to take out The Persuader. No, the Legion are not very creative with their names. It’s pretty much whatever your power is, followed by whether you are male or female.

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Smallville Episode 8.10 “Bride”

Air Date: November 20, 2008.

This one is more than a little late, folks. I was down sick last weekend and am still digging my way out. And before the haters suggest it, I am not sick of Lois. Sadly, this is the last bit of Smallville action we’ll see until January 15.

Things begin with Lois and Clark filming a video congrats to Jimmy and Chloe. Clark is, of course, thoughtful and sincere. Lois makes one of her dad’s off color jokes about marriage and immediately wants that edited out. Next we cut to the wedding and after the loving couple exchange vows, there’s a loud crash and much chaos. The next thing we see is Chloe leaning over a very badly injured Jimmy asking him not to leave her. Something comes toward Chloe and she screams. Time for a flashback of the last eight hours.

Lois is in charge of the proceedings and is power tripping as usual. She talks to Jimmy about wedding day jitters and he says there are none when you know you’re marrying the right person. I disagree. My wife is perfect and I almost fainted about five times during that wedding. But I digress. Jimmy tries to suggest the inevitable Lois and Clark pairing but she insists that’s a bad idea.

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Smallville Episode 8.09 “Abyss”

Air Date: Nov. 13, 2008

Check out our preview here.

Jimmy and Chloe are talking wedding party and Jimmy mentions that Lana’s coming. Chloe, undergoing a battle with Brainiac, has forgotten who Lana is. She blows it off but Jimmy is sure something is wrong. She flashes back to their engagement party and her memories are glitching up. When Chloe snaps out of it, she doesn’t remember who Jimmy is and freaks out.

Jimmy goes to Clark for help, concerned Chloe’s meteor healing ability might be causing this. Chloe goes to the hospital to research memory loss. She runs into Davis and apologizes for not helping him find his past yet. After his weird experience with his mom, he doesn’t want to know anymore about his past. Davis knows something’s up when he mentions Jimmy and she doesn’t seem to recognize the name.

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Chloe’s Brainiac infection reaches critical mass this week as he begins deleting her human memories one-by-one, until all she remembers is Davis Bloome.

There is no way that’s a good thing. Clark, powerless to help his friend, turns to the one person who might be able to: Dear old Dad Jor-El. That’s an even worse thing than Brainiac. Talk about your lesser of two evils! Brainiac’s taking over Clark’s oldest and best friend, Doomsday’s the only person said friend remembers and Jor-El is the only chance to set things right.

Gee, I wanted to be like Superman when I was a kid but his life sucks a little bit. I bet sometimes Supes just wants to go kick back and play some PlayStation, ya know?

Image © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved