Smallville

Well, in Metropolis any number of things could and most certainly will. Both in the comic and on TV, part of the reason Clark is so attracted to Lois is because she’s fearless. She’s doesn’t have superpowers and hasn’t ever needed them to break a story. Clark gets scoops with his superhuman abilities but knows he’s kind of cheating.

Lois will try anything, including wearing spandex and stilettos, to get the story. I tried wearing spandex to get a story once and it totally did not work. I’m guessing Lois will have better luck.

Erica Durance as Lois Lane. Smallville. Image: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

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Lex is trying to get the Prometheus treatment that gave Lana her superpowers. Watch Heroes, guys. Wide-scale distribution of powers leads to bad things. In tonight’s episode, Requiem, Lex is again threatening to destroy Clark.

And there is an appearance by classic Superman villain The Toyman, reminding us how important Lex Luthor is to the Super-mythos. Supes is just not loaded with the impressive supervillains. This is kind of ironic since Superman is the standard by which all other superheroes are measured by.

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Last week we learned about something called the Prometheus project that could help Lex Luthor recover. There are a lot of people who don’t want that happening.

Meanwhile, Lana is following her own destiny. In her encounter with the Legion of Superheroes she learned she’s supposed to save the world in her own right. It looks like she’s undergoing some military training to make that happen. Super Lana? OK, color me intrigued.

Image: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

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Air Date: January 22, 2009

I think more than anything that has happened on Smallville, I’m shocked they’ve been on eight seasons and haven’t had an episode called Bulletproof already.

In Bulletproof, John Jones/Martian Manhunter gets shot and somebody’s trying to pin the blame on Clark. That’s not good. Also tonight we’re going to see good girls gone bad and bad girls, well still being bad.

Lana Lang has been MIA for months and Ollie Queen ran into her while they were both tracking down Lex. Boy, does anybody remember Lana being the innocent girl next door? Would not have figured her to be going all Lara Croft on us. Of course, when you hang around Clark Kent for a few years you had better learn to take care of yourself. Things tend to get dangerous.

Tess Mercer is still working on covert missions for Lex and it seems her and Lana are about to have it out. Hey, I wrote a fan fiction somewhere about them fighting.. wait, I digress.

Speaking of good girls gone bad, Chloe now remembers everything about Clark. As any DC Comics fan can tell you, mindwipes do not work. And what is up with the Legion telling Clark there’s no record of Chloe Sullivan in their future? Ominous much?

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Air Date: January 15, 2009

Finally, The Clark has come back to CW! This was an episode for diehard comic book fans with the intervention of classic future supergroup The Legion of Superheroes. As alien teenagers with superpowers, they have some serious worship for Superman since he paved the way for their exploits.

Clark and Lana are trying to find Chloe, who you’ll remember got kidnapped by Davis/Doomsday at her wedding and repossessed (tee hee) by Brainiac. After Lana leaves, this masked villainous dude with a fiery axe shows up. Legion fans will instantly recognize The Persuader and his Atomic Axe.

And speaking of the Legion, members Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl show up to take out The Persuader. No, the Legion are not very creative with their names. It’s pretty much whatever your power is, followed by whether you are male or female.

Lightning Lad is in total fanboy mode and wants to know where Clark’s cape is. Cosmic Boy wants them to leave before they do anything to endanger the timeline. The Legionnaires know about Chloe being possessed by Brainiac and suggest taking her out. They also mention that there’s record of Chloe in their future, even though they know Lois, Lana and Jimmy Olsen. Sheesh! Foreshadowing much?

Clark, of course, has no intention of killing Chloe. At the Fortress of Solitude, Brainiac tells Davis he is an implement of destruction and must go into some weird form of stasis to become Doomsday. Lana works at the Isis Foundation to find Chloe and Saturn Girl said she knows why Lana has been gone for months, but the secret is safe. Saturn Girl also tells Lana she will be remembered for things other than her relationship with Clark.

Clark tries Brainiac at the Fortress but gets tossed aside. Brainiac heads to the Daily Planet, planning to download himself to the Internet and take over the world.

Cosmic Boy tries to kill Chloe thus snuffing Brainiac but Clark stops it. They go the Kent Farm and cook up another plan, using all the Legion’s powers to short circuit Brainiac out of Chloe. As a side effect, Chloe got all her memories back including the ones about Clark being superhuman.

Chloe makes Clark promise to take her out if it’s ever necessary to save the world. Boy, do you get the feeling Chloe won’t make it through this season? The Legion give Clark a time-travel ring and Clark signs the first baseball he ever hit for Lightning Lad, which is just funny. Lana and Clark talk about their destiny and Doomsday emerges from his ice cocoon, ready to rumble.

Images: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

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Smallville Episode 8.10 “Bride”

Air Date: November 20, 2008.

This one is more than a little late, folks. I was down sick last weekend and am still digging my way out. And before the haters suggest it, I am not sick of Lois. Sadly, this is the last bit of Smallville action we’ll see until January 15.

Things begin with Lois and Clark filming a video congrats to Jimmy and Chloe. Clark is, of course, thoughtful and sincere. Lois makes one of her dad’s off color jokes about marriage and immediately wants that edited out. Next we cut to the wedding and after the loving couple exchange vows, there’s a loud crash and much chaos. The next thing we see is Chloe leaning over a very badly injured Jimmy asking him not to leave her. Something comes toward Chloe and she screams. Time for a flashback of the last eight hours.

Lois is in charge of the proceedings and is power tripping as usual. She talks to Jimmy about wedding day jitters and he says there are none when you know you’re marrying the right person. I disagree. My wife is perfect and I almost fainted about five times during that wedding. But I digress. Jimmy tries to suggest the inevitable Lois and Clark pairing but she insists that’s a bad idea.

She gets a little sentimental holding Clark’s suit and the camera guy gets the whole thing on tape. She wants that edited out too. At this rate, Lois won’t even appear in the video. And some of our fans will be just hunky dory with that.

Jimmy goes and sees Chloe on the wedding day. He realizes that’s bad luck. Dude, you seriously have no idea. She tells him they’ve weathered federal arrests, amnesia and killer kisses from alien princesses. They’ll weather this. I always wonder why anyone lives in Smallville/Metropolis. But if any of these folks left, they’d just move to Gotham City I imagine.

Jimmy leaves and Chloe gets a call from Davis. She ignores it. Oliver shows up and wedding be damned, he wants to go find Lex. There’s some convoluted plan about a wireless “ghost router” that won’t work without Clark. Ollie thinks Clark is just using the wedding as an excuse to not get Lex. He reminds Clark how important Chloe is and Clark explains that Jor-El mindwiped Chloe’s memories of anything Kryptonian. Clark, don’t you read DC Comics? Mindwipes never work out.

Clark does go and get the router but won’t give it to Ollie until after the wedding. He’s afraid Ollie will kill Lex if he finds him. But one of Ollie’s underlings downloads the material needed during Clark and Ollie’s spat. Oh, you crazy Smallville kids!

Lois talks to Chloe and there’s another call from Davis. Chloe mentions the whole “you’re marrying the wrong man” exchange. Chloe needs something borrowed and goes through Clark’s stuff and finds a piece of Kryptonite. Dude, how about putting that somewhere not just anybody can find it in two seconds? They got the naive part of Clark Kent right for sure. He talks her into wearing a flower from an old school dance, not nearly as lethal. That mindwipe is already paying big dividends there, C.K.

We cut to a warehouse where supposedly Lex is doing his evil thing. Ollie arrows Lex in the head and it turns out to be a mannequin with a note “Sorry I Missed You.” Before Ollie can curse Lex’s name, he gets kicked in the head by – Lana? So she’s a ninja now? OK. After they argue about secrets and such, Ollie talks Lana into going to the wedding. Yeah Ollie, you didn’t want to go to this wedding either before Lex outsmarted you.

At the Kent house, the Boy Who Would Be Superman is befuddled by – cuff links. Wait till Lex finds this out, he’ll cook up some Kryptonite cuff links that Clark won’t be able to escape! Now we get the most random piece of sexual innuendo in TV history as Lois explains the secret of cuff links: “It has to stick up straight so you can slide it right in.” Man, I need to find a pair of cuff links. I don’t remember them being quite so – sexy.

More awkwardness as Clark starts saying sweet nothings and Lois turns around to respond. But he was only reading Jimmy’s wedding vows aloud. Oops. And those calls from Davis? So not romantic. He’s gone killing again and is covered in blood. He’s dumping the evidence but a cop shows up. Davis warns the officer to get away but it’s too late – the bone protrusions come out and it’s killin’ time again.

Chloe and Jimmy do at least get married before all hell breaks loose. Chloe and Clark have a dance and she says recently she feels like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. Clark and Lois have a dance and almost kiss – but Lana’s surprise entrance ruins that. Lois starts downing champagne. Um Lois, didn’t you ruin the engagement party by getting drunk? Just saying. She and Ollie talk about her problems and he’s known she was crushing on Clark for a while now apparently.

Lana gets a cell phone message that asks if “the archer” believes her. Clark comes up to her and they have awkward conversation about her leaving. She’s read about the mysterious savior of Metropolis and she’s proud of Clark. Doomsday crashes the party before Lana and Clark can work through their issues. Clark tries to punch him and gets thrown upstairs, right next to the block of Kryptonite. That’s why that stuff shouldn’t just be laying around, Clark. Lana gets rid of it but Doomsday makes off with Chloe.

Oh, and Jimmy tried for a save, which didn’t go very well. He’ll be flown to Star City where one of the best internal surgeons is. Doomsday takes Chloe back to the Fortress of Solitude where she has Brainiac eyes. Also, we see a bald head with wires plugged into it. Could this be Lex? We’ll have to wait until January to find out.

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Smallville Episode 8.09 “Abyss”

Air Date: Nov. 13, 2008

Check out our preview here.

Jimmy and Chloe are talking wedding party and Jimmy mentions that Lana’s coming. Chloe, undergoing a battle with Brainiac, has forgotten who Lana is. She blows it off but Jimmy is sure something is wrong. She flashes back to their engagement party and her memories are glitching up. When Chloe snaps out of it, she doesn’t remember who Jimmy is and freaks out.

Jimmy goes to Clark for help, concerned Chloe’s meteor healing ability might be causing this. Chloe goes to the hospital to research memory loss. She runs into Davis and apologizes for not helping him find his past yet. After his weird experience with his mom, he doesn’t want to know anymore about his past. Davis knows something’s up when he mentions Jimmy and she doesn’t seem to recognize the name.

Clark goes to see Chloe and finds she has a “crib sheet” of the people she’s supposed to remember. They both realize Brainiac is taking her over. Davis and Jimmy talk as Davis says he can’t make it to the wedding. Davis asks if Jimmy really loves her and he gushes, even quoting Frank Sinatra.  Jimmy asks Davis if he knows what that kind of love is like and he said that he does. Boy, does he.

Chloe tries to stop Clark from using the infamous crystal to summon Jor-El  and rebuild the Fortress but he won’t have any of that. He says everyone that knows his secret goes away and he won’t let that happen to her.  While they talk, she has another blackout but Clark stops it. However, Chloe doesn’t remember Clark’s super powers or anything else about Krypton.

Clark goes to rebuild the Fortress of Solitude and get Jor-El’s help, leaving Chloe with a picture of the two of them together to help her remember. Jimmy tries to get Chloe to go see a doctor but she wants to stay there until Clark gets back. Jimmy wins out and while undergoing the MRI, Chloe flashes back to the first time she met Clark.  This is a cute scene where talks about how boring she expects Smallville to be. She mentions that she lost her favorite book in the move. Clark super speeds to the library and brings her the book. Ah, super crush beginning her. Things start going crazy again. After massive Clark memory delete, all she remembers is Davis. She runs to find him and he promises to help her.

Davis brings Chloe back to Jimmy and Clark, then sedates her before she can run off again. Clark takes her to the Fortress. He asks Jor-El to leave her without any memories of Krypton or Clark’s powers. Something drips out of her ear and into the ground. Looks like it’s time for Brainiac to infect the Fortress.

Jor-El does what he says. Chloe is happy and blissfully unaware of anything Kryptonian. As she steps out, Davis reveals his feelings for Chloe and tells her she’s marrying the wrong man. And there’s a kiss. Clark goes to talk to Jor-El about the Kryptonian symbol for doom. He describes the ultimate destroyer and that the being has apparently made its way to Earth. Clark vows to defeat it. After Clark leaves the Fortress, Brainiac reveals himself and takes over the Fortress, proclaiming that Doomsday has arrived and it’s time for the House of El to fall.

Images: © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

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There is no way that’s a good thing. Clark, powerless to help his friend, turns to the one person who might be able to: Dear old Dad Jor-El. That’s an even worse thing than Brainiac. Talk about your lesser of two evils! Brainiac’s taking over Clark’s oldest and best friend, Doomsday’s the only person said friend remembers and Jor-El is the only chance to set things right.

Gee, I wanted to be like Superman when I was a kid but his life sucks a little bit. I bet sometimes Supes just wants to go kick back and play some PlayStation, ya know?

Image © 2008 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

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